Most people tell me they feel stuck. But when we slow the conversation down, what I usually hear is something quite different. They aren’t stuck – they’re unclear.
That may sound like a small distinction, but it isn’t.
Here’s a simple way to tell the difference. If you were truly stuck, you would know what you wanted – something outside of you would be blocking it and you just can’t see your way past. A company policy. A financial constraint. A lack of openings. A specific skill gap.
When you’re unclear, the problem is quieter and more frustrating. Because you don’t know what you don’t know. You don’t feel pulled toward anything strongly enough to act. You have ideas, but none feel right. And you keep waiting for certainty to come before you move. And that takes a long time or doesn’t come at all.
And then something even more human happens: You start blaming yourself.
“I should be more motivated.”
“I used to be driven.”
“Maybe I’m just tired of working.” (or even worse, “Maybe I’m just useless and will never figure it out!”)
It seems that you may be treating this as a motivation problem instead of a direction problem. So here are a few signs you’re more unclear than stuck:
You overthink every possible option.
Not because you’re indecisive — but because you don’t have a clear filter for what actually matters to you.
You say you’re open… but also feel strangely detached.
New roles, new paths, new ideas sound “fine,” but nothing creates real energy.
You keep asking practical questions before personal ones.
Salary. title. flexibility. location. Important – yes. But important enough to build a life around?
You feel restless, not desperate.
There’s discomfort, there’s frustration, but there isn’t a clear “this is what I really want instead.”
And here’s the part I care most about.
Unclear does not mean broken.
It does not mean you lack ambition.
It does not mean you’ve wasted your career.
It usually means you’re growing. You’re changing and your values are shifting. What once fit you, doesn’t seem to anymore. And that’s actually a good thing.
Most people were never taught how to pause and listen for what’s underneath the noise — the subtle fears, the unspoken trade-offs, the long-buried wants that keep tapping on the door.
So instead, they push harder – more effort, more productivity, more self-criticism.
That’s like pressing the gas when you don’t actually know where you’re going. (No wonder you are exhausted!)
Clarity doesn’t come from forcing a decision.
It comes from asking better questions:
What do I really want my work to support in my life?
What am I no longer willing to trade away?
What part of me have I been ignoring to stay “responsible”?
What do I need to say ‘no’ to, and even better, ‘yes’ to – finally.
You don’t need more pressure. You need a path you can confidently follow — one that reflects who you are now, not who you had to be when you started. And someone to help you create that path and help you work your way along it. Because it’s really hard to do on your own. (as you may have noticed!)
It’s also hard to look back and say, I wish I had done this or I should have done that instead.
It’s never too late to take that step towards no regrets.
https://kpcoaching.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/03/kp-logo-retina.png00Kathy Parkshttps://kpcoaching.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/03/kp-logo-retina.pngKathy Parks2026-02-15 00:04:322026-02-15 00:04:32Stuck vs. unclear: how to tell what’s actually holding your career back
More about the new Leadership Mindset in 2026: it’s long been known that emotional intelligence (EQ) is a well-studied predictor and enabler of effective leadership and team performance — not just a “soft skill.” It just seems like it’s more important now than ever. And even after all these years that we’ve been talking about it, some leaders are still struggling with how to get better at it, or even know that it’s important to get better at!
When I coached leaders this last year, the focus was rarely on task execution. Most leaders already know what to do. The real challenge is navigating uncertainty, emotional reactions to change, cross-functional conflict, and rising levels of stress and burnout.
Leaders with strong Emotional Intelligence:
– regulate themselves before they lead others
– listen for emotion, not just content
– respond, rather than react
And that isn’t easy to do considering the stress most leaders are under these days! And so coaching leaders for better emotional intelligence starts with helping them become aware of how they show up under all this pressure. We explore what triggers defensiveness, impatience, or withdrawal—and how those reactions affect trust and decision-making.
When leaders begin to slow down and become intentional in their conversations with their people (less reaction and more real listening), motivation improves, conflict becomes productive, and people feel safer to speak honestly.
(When was the last time you asked your team how your leadership style impacts their work?)
In today’s workplace, emotional intelligence is not optional. It’s an essential leadership operating system.
Leadership has changed over the years – and especially from when I started my leadership journey, so long ago! After the tumultuous year we’ve just had, a new mindset is needed. Leadership is no longer defined by authority, expertise, or even experience alone.
The leaders who truly thrive now – who retain talent, build resilient teams, and deliver sustainable results—are those that integrate emotional intelligence, adaptability, and psychological safety into the way they lead every day.
From my work coaching different levels of leaders and high-potential professionals, as well as reading lots of current articles – one thing has become clear:
The biggest leadership risk today is not lack of strategy- it is outdated leadership behavior in a fast-changing human environment.
Research across organizational psychology and leadership science has consistently shown that performance, engagement, and innovation are deeply connected to how people experience their leaders.
But what has changed dramatically in recent years is the context leaders operate in:
– Hybrid and distributed teams are now standard
– Career paths are no longer linear
– Employees expect meaning, growth, and psychological safety – not just compensation
AI and automation are reshaping roles faster than most organizations can redesign them, and that won’t end any time soon.
What will differentiate leaders in 2026 is how they think, relate, and respond based on this new context – it’s less about visibility and more about impact and how you can continue to adapt as things continue to change.
Leadership effectiveness now depends on:
– how people experience you
– how safe they feel around you
– how much space you create for learning and contribution
From what I see, the leaders who will thrive in 2026 are not necessarily the most confident, visible, or charismatic.
They are the ones who have developed the inner capability to lead people through uncertainty, complexity, and change—without losing trust, clarity, or humanity.
And the good news – if you’re not there yet, it is all coachable!
https://kpcoaching.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/03/kp-logo-retina.png00Kathy Parkshttps://kpcoaching.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/03/kp-logo-retina.pngKathy Parks2026-02-12 00:20:062026-02-12 00:20:06Leadership in 2026
Most people don’t seek coaching because something is “wrong” with them.
They seek it because they’re stuck between who they’ve been and who they’re becoming.
Clarity doesn’t come from pushing harder or doing more.
It comes from creating space to listen—to what has really been quietly influencing you beneath the surface.
That’s where real change begins.
When I first took my coach training, not a lot of people had coaches, why would anyone need one, and anyway, wouldn’t that be admitting that they might need to be ‘fixed’ in some way? Now, many years later, this is a billion dollar industry – there are tons of coaches and people are happy to have the help – an outside, objective person to think out loud with, champion your growth and cheer on your wins, even the little ones.
So much easier than doing it on your own.
If you’ve thought about working with a coach to get to where you want to be in life or in your career – why not you and why not now? Growth requires honesty, courage and action.
Life is too short to have any regrets.
https://kpcoaching.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/03/kp-logo-retina.png00Kathy Parkshttps://kpcoaching.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/03/kp-logo-retina.pngKathy Parks2026-02-08 00:39:362026-02-08 00:39:36Is Coaching for You?
The month of January is over already – how did that happen? Time seems to be flying by more quickly than ever. You had great plans for yourself this year and are already feeling you are behind. That somehow you are stuck and never going to change to get where you want to go. Maybe there’s a better way to look at it, to give yourself a little grace and yet help you move forward. Here it is – you’re not stuck, you’re just between versions of yourself.
I know it doesn’t feel that way. It feels like you’re treading water. Like everyone else is moving forward and you’re… here. Again, after another year.
But that’s not what’s really happening – you are shedding an old skin. The one that kept you small and kept you comfortable. That said yes to everything except for what you actually wanted.
And, the new skin isn’t here yet. You can’t see it clearly, but it’s coming.
This messy middle part? It’s not a sign you’re failing. It’s a sign you are changing and change takes time.
So be patient with yourself. You’re not behind. You’re exactly where growth happens.
What if you stopped thinking of this as “stuck” and started calling it what it really is—becoming?
A mindset change is the first step to getting what you want and you have all the control over that…..
https://kpcoaching.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/03/kp-logo-retina.png00Kathy Parkshttps://kpcoaching.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/03/kp-logo-retina.pngKathy Parks2026-02-01 00:50:572026-02-01 00:50:57Are you stuck, or is it really something else?
As I look back at the world of work this last year, with my themes of careers and leadership, one word keeps coming up: adjustment. Not reinvention or disruption. Just a lot of people quietly rethinking what work is supposed to mean for them.
Career-wise, (based on industry research and talking with my clients), the big shift was away from the traditional, upward ladder approach we have long been told was the way to go. More people experimented with lateral moves, skill-stacking, and “stepping back” roles that actually moved them forward in a different and better way. There was less focus on titles and more honest reflection about energy, learning, and fit – what you really wanted instead of what you should want. It felt like progress—even if it was sometimes uncomfortable or scary.
AI also started to become part of everyday work life (with some initial kicking and screaming). But after this initial panic (and hype), the people who benefited most weren’t the techies, they were the ones willing to experiment and learn and grow through trial and error. It wasn’t easy and still isn’t. Curiosity though, is beating expertise more often than not and you are being rewarded for that.
And in leadership, this was the year control finally started to lose its shine. Is it totally gone? Not by a long shot. But the leaders who did well focused on clarity, context, and trust. They communicated more, managed less, and remembered they were leading humans, not productivity dashboards. And that wasn’t easy to do in the year we’ve just had.
Burnout didn’t magically disappear, but boundaries became more acceptable. Rest stopped being framed as a reward and started being treated as maintenance.
If there’s a theme for this last year, it’s this: work grew up a little. Are we done yet? Never done, but it might be a little easier to build on in 2026.
https://kpcoaching.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/03/kp-logo-retina.png00Kathy Parkshttps://kpcoaching.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/03/kp-logo-retina.pngKathy Parks2025-12-31 19:35:472025-12-31 19:35:47Looking back at this crazy year….
Stuck vs. unclear: how to tell what’s actually holding your career back
/by Kathy ParksMost people tell me they feel stuck. But when we slow the conversation down, what I usually hear is something quite different. They aren’t stuck – they’re unclear.
That may sound like a small distinction, but it isn’t.
Here’s a simple way to tell the difference. If you were truly stuck, you would know what you wanted – something outside of you would be blocking it and you just can’t see your way past. A company policy. A financial constraint. A lack of openings. A specific skill gap.
When you’re unclear, the problem is quieter and more frustrating. Because you don’t know what you don’t know. You don’t feel pulled toward anything strongly enough to act. You have ideas, but none feel right. And you keep waiting for certainty to come before you move. And that takes a long time or doesn’t come at all.
And then something even more human happens: You start blaming yourself.
“I should be more motivated.”
“I used to be driven.”
“Maybe I’m just tired of working.” (or even worse, “Maybe I’m just useless and will never figure it out!”)
It seems that you may be treating this as a motivation problem instead of a direction problem. So here are a few signs you’re more unclear than stuck:
You overthink every possible option.
Not because you’re indecisive — but because you don’t have a clear filter for what actually matters to you.
You say you’re open… but also feel strangely detached.
New roles, new paths, new ideas sound “fine,” but nothing creates real energy.
You keep asking practical questions before personal ones.
Salary. title. flexibility. location. Important – yes. But important enough to build a life around?
You feel restless, not desperate.
There’s discomfort, there’s frustration, but there isn’t a clear “this is what I really want instead.”
And here’s the part I care most about.
Unclear does not mean broken.
It does not mean you lack ambition.
It does not mean you’ve wasted your career.
It usually means you’re growing. You’re changing and your values are shifting. What once fit you, doesn’t seem to anymore. And that’s actually a good thing.
Most people were never taught how to pause and listen for what’s underneath the noise — the subtle fears, the unspoken trade-offs, the long-buried wants that keep tapping on the door.
So instead, they push harder – more effort, more productivity, more self-criticism.
That’s like pressing the gas when you don’t actually know where you’re going. (No wonder you are exhausted!)
Clarity doesn’t come from forcing a decision.
It comes from asking better questions:
What do I really want my work to support in my life?
What am I no longer willing to trade away?
What part of me have I been ignoring to stay “responsible”?
What do I need to say ‘no’ to, and even better, ‘yes’ to – finally.
You don’t need more pressure. You need a path you can confidently follow — one that reflects who you are now, not who you had to be when you started. And someone to help you create that path and help you work your way along it. Because it’s really hard to do on your own. (as you may have noticed!)
It’s also hard to look back and say, I wish I had done this or I should have done that instead.
It’s never too late to take that step towards no regrets.
Emotional Intelligence, again!
/by Kathy ParksMore about the new Leadership Mindset in 2026: it’s long been known that emotional intelligence (EQ) is a well-studied predictor and enabler of effective leadership and team performance — not just a “soft skill.” It just seems like it’s more important now than ever. And even after all these years that we’ve been talking about it, some leaders are still struggling with how to get better at it, or even know that it’s important to get better at!
When I coached leaders this last year, the focus was rarely on task execution. Most leaders already know what to do. The real challenge is navigating uncertainty, emotional reactions to change, cross-functional conflict, and rising levels of stress and burnout.
Leaders with strong Emotional Intelligence:
– regulate themselves before they lead others
– listen for emotion, not just content
– respond, rather than react
And that isn’t easy to do considering the stress most leaders are under these days! And so coaching leaders for better emotional intelligence starts with helping them become aware of how they show up under all this pressure. We explore what triggers defensiveness, impatience, or withdrawal—and how those reactions affect trust and decision-making.
When leaders begin to slow down and become intentional in their conversations with their people (less reaction and more real listening), motivation improves, conflict becomes productive, and people feel safer to speak honestly.
(When was the last time you asked your team how your leadership style impacts their work?)
In today’s workplace, emotional intelligence is not optional. It’s an essential leadership operating system.
Leadership in 2026
/by Kathy ParksLeadership has changed over the years – and especially from when I started my leadership journey, so long ago! After the tumultuous year we’ve just had, a new mindset is needed. Leadership is no longer defined by authority, expertise, or even experience alone.
The leaders who truly thrive now – who retain talent, build resilient teams, and deliver sustainable results—are those that integrate emotional intelligence, adaptability, and psychological safety into the way they lead every day.
From my work coaching different levels of leaders and high-potential professionals, as well as reading lots of current articles – one thing has become clear:
The biggest leadership risk today is not lack of strategy- it is outdated leadership behavior in a fast-changing human environment.
Research across organizational psychology and leadership science has consistently shown that performance, engagement, and innovation are deeply connected to how people experience their leaders.
But what has changed dramatically in recent years is the context leaders operate in:
– Hybrid and distributed teams are now standard
– Career paths are no longer linear
– Employees expect meaning, growth, and psychological safety – not just compensation
AI and automation are reshaping roles faster than most organizations can redesign them, and that won’t end any time soon.
What will differentiate leaders in 2026 is how they think, relate, and respond based on this new context – it’s less about visibility and more about impact and how you can continue to adapt as things continue to change.
Leadership effectiveness now depends on:
– how people experience you
– how safe they feel around you
– how much space you create for learning and contribution
From what I see, the leaders who will thrive in 2026 are not necessarily the most confident, visible, or charismatic.
They are the ones who have developed the inner capability to lead people through uncertainty, complexity, and change—without losing trust, clarity, or humanity.
And the good news – if you’re not there yet, it is all coachable!
Is Coaching for You?
/by Kathy ParksMost people don’t seek coaching because something is “wrong” with them.
They seek it because they’re stuck between who they’ve been and who they’re becoming.
Clarity doesn’t come from pushing harder or doing more.
It comes from creating space to listen—to what has really been quietly influencing you beneath the surface.
That’s where real change begins.
When I first took my coach training, not a lot of people had coaches, why would anyone need one, and anyway, wouldn’t that be admitting that they might need to be ‘fixed’ in some way? Now, many years later, this is a billion dollar industry – there are tons of coaches and people are happy to have the help – an outside, objective person to think out loud with, champion your growth and cheer on your wins, even the little ones.
So much easier than doing it on your own.
If you’ve thought about working with a coach to get to where you want to be in life or in your career – why not you and why not now? Growth requires honesty, courage and action.
Life is too short to have any regrets.
Are you stuck, or is it really something else?
/by Kathy ParksThe month of January is over already – how did that happen? Time seems to be flying by more quickly than ever. You had great plans for yourself this year and are already feeling you are behind. That somehow you are stuck and never going to change to get where you want to go. Maybe there’s a better way to look at it, to give yourself a little grace and yet help you move forward. Here it is – you’re not stuck, you’re just between versions of yourself.
I know it doesn’t feel that way. It feels like you’re treading water. Like everyone else is moving forward and you’re… here. Again, after another year.
But that’s not what’s really happening – you are shedding an old skin. The one that kept you small and kept you comfortable. That said yes to everything except for what you actually wanted.
And, the new skin isn’t here yet. You can’t see it clearly, but it’s coming.
This messy middle part? It’s not a sign you’re failing. It’s a sign you are changing and change takes time.
So be patient with yourself. You’re not behind. You’re exactly where growth happens.
What if you stopped thinking of this as “stuck” and started calling it what it really is—becoming?
A mindset change is the first step to getting what you want and you have all the control over that…..
Looking back at this crazy year….
/by Kathy ParksAs I look back at the world of work this last year, with my themes of careers and leadership, one word keeps coming up: adjustment. Not reinvention or disruption. Just a lot of people quietly rethinking what work is supposed to mean for them.
Career-wise, (based on industry research and talking with my clients), the big shift was away from the traditional, upward ladder approach we have long been told was the way to go. More people experimented with lateral moves, skill-stacking, and “stepping back” roles that actually moved them forward in a different and better way. There was less focus on titles and more honest reflection about energy, learning, and fit – what you really wanted instead of what you should want. It felt like progress—even if it was sometimes uncomfortable or scary.
AI also started to become part of everyday work life (with some initial kicking and screaming). But after this initial panic (and hype), the people who benefited most weren’t the techies, they were the ones willing to experiment and learn and grow through trial and error. It wasn’t easy and still isn’t. Curiosity though, is beating expertise more often than not and you are being rewarded for that.
And in leadership, this was the year control finally started to lose its shine. Is it totally gone? Not by a long shot. But the leaders who did well focused on clarity, context, and trust. They communicated more, managed less, and remembered they were leading humans, not productivity dashboards. And that wasn’t easy to do in the year we’ve just had.
Burnout didn’t magically disappear, but boundaries became more acceptable. Rest stopped being framed as a reward and started being treated as maintenance.
If there’s a theme for this last year, it’s this: work grew up a little. Are we done yet? Never done, but it might be a little easier to build on in 2026.